Fever and Everyone

Daddy- Everyone got here safe and sound. Now to get you home and better. You gave us a scare last night you spike a fever of 104.6 good news was within an hour of giving motrin your fever broke. You were so happy this morning when I came in. I got to bring little Miss Aubree in. You perked right up the best you have looked in Days. You were talking and even making raspberries at Aubree so darn cute. She loves you so much like all of us do. I can't believe that you have been almost a week already. Your fever came back around noon today but the broke again within a hour of the motrin. They said that is good. We all love you and you are doing so good. I love you so much Daddy keep fighting.

The Time Has come....

Daddy, The doctor told Nana and I that the time has come that you children who live out of state to come and see you. They told us that we are at a cross roads that they continue to everything they can for you medically  but that unless a miracle happens you will not be returning home. I am praying so hard for that miracle. You asked me today and broke my heart in doing so but you asked me If god had a place for you and that you are just so tired. Tired of being in pain. The doctors are trying so hard to get you comfortable but it hasn't worked yet. They have upped your pain meds again. I am just feeling broken. I am not ready for all this. They asked me today what you end of life wishes are. I can't even think about your end of life.

Then there is the getting your kids here. Heather was not problem I called her and she will be here early Saturday morning. She is coming from AL. Timmy on the other hand was much much harder. I had to go through the red cross. 40minutes on the phone. Then another 20 when they called me back to double check what hospital he was in. Then they called the hospital to double check that our father was a end of life patient. Then a hour wait and they got him all set to come up. So it took 2 hour and a lot of people to be able to get Timmy to were he can come up. The Marines(where I love the arm forces and I love that both my brother are in the service in this case I was not to happy  with there process of getting it for someone to come and see there dying father). Try there hardest and I know it is for there safety but I wish I just didn't have to 100people on the phone what was going on just so my brother can come see his Dad.Timmy will be here around noon on Saturday. Charles is here with me already. So now we just wait for Heather and Timmy.

Uncle Randy is coming too. He lives in FL and will be here late tonight into early Saturday morning. Your other Brother lives up here so he saw you today. I can't believe we are at this point.

Poor Nana, My Poor Nana, this will be her 3rd son she  buried. No mother should ever have to buried her kids. This will be my Nana's 3rd son in the last 5yrs. I am still praying and holding out hope that this is NOT it and that you will be around for a long long time Daddy and that this is a bump in the road. A very big bump. I love you more then you will ever know. I love you more then words can say. i love you so much I can't even tell you. You are so strong and so brave. I love you Daddy.

Platelets and Blood Transfusion

Daddy- you are in the hospital again, and last night your platelets went down to 9, after two bags of Platelets you went up to 15. You got two more bags of platelets last night. You started your blood transfusions this morning early. Once your done with this last Blood Transfusion they said they are going to take you to have ultrasound down of the mass that popped up on your belly. They also said that you will need more transfusions in the coming days. I was so scared when I got the call that you needed transfused. I love you so much Daddy  keep fight. Never give up.

I want to thank everyone who gives blood and also encourage other to donate. It is because of people donating blood, my Dad got the blood he needed. Thank you for giving and please give again.

Also I want to thank everyone who donates Platelets and encourage others to donate platelets. Again with out you who donate my father who not have been able to get the platelets he needed.

Hospital Again.....

Daddy- You are in the hospital again. The first doctor we saw was NOT helpful at all. He even told us that he know nothing about oncology and that the oncologist would know more of what is going on. The nurse told me before I left that all your counts were off low some high. They said Dr. Lobins will be in first thing in the morning and we will go from there. You keep telling me you are so tried of being sick, so tried of being tried. You said for the first time tonight that you are just plan tried. I have been praying that things turn out ok. You are the Strongest man I know. I love you so much Daddy. I am right here with  you fighting with you. I love you!

Happy Valentines Day Daddy!

Daddy, Happy Valentine's Day! Nothing fun planned for today. You have Radiation and then going home to sleep you said. The girls made you Valentines and you loved them. You said that it brighten your day when you saw them. I love you Daddy. I feel bad that we can't go with you today but Autumn is sick again. I love you Daddy and I hope you have a great day!

9 MONTH!! FIGHTING!

Today you have made it 9 months since we first found out you were sick. The first doc said you didn't even have 3months left and that we needed to make arrangements. We didn't believe him and look here you are 9months later still fighting. Fighting harder then you ever fought before. I love you so much. I can't tell you how strong you are and how proud I am of you. Keep fighting daddy and I will be right next to you. Fighting with you. Stay strong, Live strong, Fight strong and never give up.

Lunch!

Daddy- we went to lunch today. It made me so sad when you couldn't even finish your sandwich because the radiation messes with your throat and it makes it hard for you to swallow. You were so hungry too. You said that you have been so sleepy lately that it actually hurts you to get up and walk because you lay down so much. I love you so much Daddy. It breaks my heart that you are going through this. Cancer is not far. I love you Daddy. I will enjoy all the time we have left together. You are the strongest person I know. Be strong Daddy!

Talking to the Doc today!

Daddy- today you said you were going to have to talk to the doc today about some of the things that have been going on. You want to just be sure everything you are feeling is normal. You are so worried about how can going from taking you r chemo pill every day  two times a day to having chemo 4times a week is better. I hope he gives you all your answers. I can't wait to hear about your appt.

Sick

Daddy- Day 11 of  16 and you are sick. They said no fever which is really good. They also said that it is more then likely the Chemo getting to you. You think it is the radiation. Time will only tell. I love you Daddy and I will see you soon.

Liver and Onions(YUCK)

Daddy- I can tell you are feeling a little better. Day 10 of 16 radiations treatments. which mean after today 6 days to go. You said you were having liver and onions for lunch(yuck in my mind). Then you added that you thought that since your liver is no good maybe eating an animals liver will make mine better. I said I don't think it works like that. You said damn it I thought that would help.. You were joking something you haven't really done the past few week.

Day 9

Daddy- Today is Day 9 of 16 days of chemo more then half way done. You said you can't wait for it be done. You said that the radiation is the worse. That it is like it zaps your taste buds. Everything taste bland and it is hard to eat when everything taste like well nothing. You said that with chemo your body gets use to it or adjusts and it isn't as bad and at least your food taste like food. You said nothing is worse then taking a bit of something(like a cheeseburger) and it tasting like nothing or cardboard. I am glad we are half way done with radiation. I keep praying that you go into remission or better yet are just healed of this. I love you Daddy.

Do you really think before you talk?

Daddy- Sometime I really wonder if people think before they speak. I am beginning to realize that most people must not think. Yesterday, you were at the Tax place and you called me telling me how this woman must not have a brain.. I asked what happen. You then told this woman, was making small talk with the man sitting next to her. She then looked at you and said wow you look like your sick, do you think you should be around people. Well of course you look sick you have cancer and are on radiation and chemo(2 types.). Anyways, you told well I am sick but you can't catch it. She goes so your doctor and know when you can pass things to people. You go this is not something you can catch. She then goes well what is it then Cancer or something like that. You said you looked at her and said yes I have stage 4 liver cancer and leukemia too. You said her mouth about dropped to the floor.You said that you knew she was trying to be smart with her comments. You said that she shut up after that. It amazes me sometime what people will say to other people.I love you daddy.

Radiation = sleepiness.

Daddy- Well Radiation is once again kicking your butt. It always take all your energy. You are so sleepy, you fall asleep anywhere. I can't wait for you to be done with this round of radiation. Today is day 7. So about half way there. You are so worried you won't be able to stay awake and watch the super bowl. I Love you Daddy and you are so brave.

Doxil you aren't as bad as you think you are.

Daddy- You had your first Doxil treatment today. You got sick after well during but not as bad as they thought you would. When I got the call from Nana she said that you were kinda laughing and said Doxil isn't as bas as it thinks it is. You are doing great so far side effect wise. The Chemo cocktail of side effects don't seem to be getting to you besides a little upset stomach and sleepiness. I am glad you are doing good and bummed that I can't be with you around you for the next few days. I would rather stay away then let you get the flu from Aubree. I love you Daddy and pray that the next rounds of chemo go as well as these first 2 rounds did.

How you are feeling...

Daddy- you called me and told me you feel pretty good after your first gemzar chemo treatment. You said besides a little bit of an upset stomach you feel fine. They told you that tomorrow is when you will really feel sick. The Doxil and Gemzar don't mix well side effect wise. I am just so glad you don't feel horrible today. I am praying tomorrow will be okay too. I love you Daddy.

Today GEMZAR tomorrow DOXIL

Daddy- today is the first day you will be getting the GEMZAR. I wish I could be there with you. I hate that I won't be. It makes me happy that Nana will be with you and you won't be all alone. I wish I could have moved Autumn's appt. with the lung doc but there was no way. I know that you are worried about how all this is going to make you feel. I know that things are going to get a worse(in the way you are feeling) before better. that doctor already told us this. Well I love you Daddy and I will be waiting for Nana's call to tell me how it all went.