Sleeping

Daddy, Today you came over like almost every other day. But today you are sleeping the chair not an everyday thing but is more common since you started the chemo. I feel better being able to watch you sleep and know you are ok and breathing. I know that the cancer is stable but I am still waiting for the other shoe to drop it seems like. I hate feeling this way I am usually such a half full kind of person. Since this all started it has been hard to look at the glass half full. I know that I shouldn't worry as much as I do but I think it is just in me to worry. I find peace almost watching you sleep and hearing you breath knowing that you are still breathing. I know that the doctor told us that we have to stay up and I would never tell you that I felt like the glass was half empty instead of full. I know I need to except that it is stable and things are BETTER. That I don't need to watch you sleep to know you are breathing. But for some reason I feel the NEED to. I am trying very hard to be happy and realize how great this is. It is great Stable is my new favorite word. I am still worried tho all the time. I know it is silly to say I NEED to be able to watch you sleep to know that you are breathing but for some strange reason . I feel that I need to. to know you are ok. I love you Daddy and are so proud of the fight you are putting up!