Monday, March 28, 2011
1 MONTH
Daddy-it has been a month since you passed today. I thought by now things would be a little easier and they aren't. I feel so stupid sometimes . I am getting upset and mad when I see girls fighting with there Dads'. It is like all I want to do is go running over to them and tell them be grateful you have your Dad he could be gone tomorrow and love every moment you have with him. I have also been thinking about all the time as a teenager that I was either out late or forgot to call and worried you. Also all the times I was embarrassed to be seen with you because it was LAME to be seen with your Dad. I am now thinking of all that stuff and feeling horrible. Like man I could have had an extra hour with you here or with you there. I find myself being really upset with myself for not spending that time with you. I want to say sorry for doing that. I miss you so much and I am broken I feel I will forever be broken. I am sure today will be filled with a lot of crying. I am not even getting dressed today. I just feel like crap and I am sad and all I want is for you to still be here. I love and miss you Daddy.
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Hugs, Mama. I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. What a lucky daddy he was, to have such a loving daughter. Don't beat yourself up for the impulsive decisions of a teenager. You didn't stay that person. Instead there were a lot of "extra hours here and there" that a lot of other people might have shied away from. He had to know how much you did for him. He had to have felt your love.
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