New Normal??

Daddy- Everyone tells me I will have to find a new normal. A new normal that doesn't include you. A new normal that doesn't have me calling you and telling you all the cute things that the girls are doing. The new normal that when I see a movie we both love on TV not calling and telling you it is on. A new normal that mean no calls from you every morning. The new normal with no eating out with you once or twice a week like we always did. The new normal where my girls ask to call Papa and I have to say no he is with Jesus and the angels now. The new normal for when I say I am going to see Dad is a trip to Riverside rather then your house. When I say I taking Dad his favorite flower just to perk him up will be a vase of flowers to his grave to perk up the head stone and animals there. I really don't want a new normal. A normal without you is not any kind of normal I want. I know that everyone says it will get easier and that as time passes I will get use to this new normal. I feel like everyone is already forgetting you. Forgetting what life was with you here. I just can't seem to shake the fact that you aren't just going to pull up in the black f-150 and hop out. It still just seem so fake like a bad dream I am going to wake up from. I know that it isn't but it is like my mind won't let me let go of the fact that this isn't so bad dream. That this is what life is. That this is going to have to be my new normal. A life with out you in it. You will always be in my life. But you won't be there in body but in spirit. I am now facing this new normal head on. I don't like it and no one can make me like that fact I have to adjust to life without the one man who had always been there for me. I will adjust and it will become the new normal. It will never just be the normal to me. I miss you so much Daddy and with every passing day this hole in my heart seems to be getting bigger rather then smaller. I know I will heal and get over this feeling. I just can't even think right now when that will ever be. I love and miss you more then I ever thought a person could miss someone. I love you so much.
Here is a song that has really been speaking to me lately: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g3k1rJOQPdY&feature=related